I made a friend
i just made a society 6 to start selling my work! there’s only one thing up there right now but it would mean the world to me if you guys checked it out!! here’s the link
asks for scotch, two fingers deep, no ice.
The strangers with hunched backs
all grunt in admiration and approval around him.
One of them asks him what he does for a living.
He takes a sip without wincing
and doesn’t answer.
There’s a 17 year old patient of his who won’t
stop telling him about how bad she wants him to fuck her.
Another middle-aged woman
can’t take a shower because she
thinks her dead husband is trapped in the drain.
He finishes his drink and thinks
about all the different ways
a person can drown.
A psychiatrist walks into a bar
and gets drunk off his ass drinking hard liquor.
He can’t remember the last time he
felt this full and on fire.
The world is spinning like it’s
trying to run away, so he starts talking
to God in the parking lot.
God answers with a gust of wind
just gentle enough to knock him
to the ground, laughing like a child
who has just heard his first words.
He should probably get some help,
Friday night I went to a frat party, went downtown, then came back to the frat house and everyone was hanging out in this one guys room and we ended up holding hands for a while which was super cute and he played the ukulele and sang and I lost it then five of us slept in the same bed and we were holding hands again and he asked to kiss me but I said no because so many other people were right there but I probably would have otherwise anyway it was a really great night I love college
Selina’s never been away so long without us before. I guess this is what’s going to be like when our kids go to college, Sweetie. Yeah, dream the fuck on, Dan.
Moi meme: 2/5 male characters
Nick miller: ”I can’t just go around saying good night to everyone, and buying people cookies!”